I thought I was reasonably free – I’d left my marriage and my job; the children were on their own now – and I could devote myself completely to my spiritual development. I did not expect that I would become so busy. 

When I moved back to Amsterdam six years ago, back to the apartment that I had been able to buy so cheaply during the ‘squatters’ time, obviously I did not know what to expect. My job was more than a full time job; I saw my children and three times a week had a fitness class.

Suddenly I felt I had plenty of time; but quickly my time filled with cleaning up all kinds of unprocessed emotions, reading spiritual books, attending leadership programs and tantra workshops. I did everything to find out who I really was. I also had plenty of time to do nothing. For days I was at home alone and tried to develop my creative side by playing the piano, painting and just being me. How was it possible that I didn’t notice that I had such a full program again?

Of course I do that to myself. It just takes a lot of time to take care of all my body’s needs : my physical, etheric, emotional, mental, astral, etheric causal , universal love and ketherisch-causal body. To have enough time for everything I thought that I would get up at sunrise and for a while now I have been getting up at half past five in the morning. My program starts thus : meditate for half an hour, chi kung exercises, again meditation for half an hour. 

I then make my tea a Chinese herbal drink and a grapefruit for breakfast. 

I follow this with an hour reading one of my spiritual books and I close the early morning session with a yoga program. 

By that time it is already nine o'clock and I must eat my porridge which I had already prepared together with the tea; porridge with prunes, apricots and a banana. 

Because I am a Vata type Ayurveda consultation pointed out that I need to eat heavy and regular food, and preferably three times a day a warm meal. 

After breakfast I get dressed. I only take a shower twice a week. That is better for my skin. I apply oil all over me in order to prevent my skin from drying. 

Then I consult my Ayurveda cookbook and decide what I'm going to make for my lunch at 1pm and dinner at 6pm. I go shopping and start cooking. 

By that time I only have a few hours left for work. The day is almost over and I have only taken care of a few of my bodies. In the evening, I’m to tired to say anything and Vata types should go to bed pretty much the sun goes downbut not before I drink my Chinese herbal drink (my Chinese acupuncturist recommends this twice a day) and before I rub oil in my hair. 

"How could you do this if you have a full time job and a family?" This thought goes regularly through my mind. 

I try to hard to do my best and for the thousandth time I promise myself to let go and to live in the moment.