One afternoon in the autumn of 1997 I drove to the office. I had an appointment with the CEO of the organization where I then worked for to talk about my future. At that moment it was a bit uncertain. The job I had, would soon end and the change to consultant in an other department of the organization wasn’t going the way I had expected. The proposal that I wanted to present to him was that I would continue the occupational health and safety network as a self-employed worker and ask him to support me financially. Short said my question was to buy me out and to give the network to me as a bonus.
While driving through the polder and my thoughts on the upcoming conversation, I was amazed by myself. Figuratively speaking then, because driving in a standing position is very troublesome, of course. I had never, ever thought I would dare to start my own business. I had nothing or no one I could fall back on if I failed. I who always needed security. And yet ... ... something drove me to make this step. It wasn't really a sunny day, but the closer I came to the office, the air opened up and the sun's rays emerged. For me signals that I had taken the right decision. The more sun rays appeared, the greater was my feeling of happiness and proudness of myself. Wow, this would be fantastic. My own business, being my own boss. My boss at the time, the CEO so, received my proposal with open arms. He would come back with a good proposal to me and he kept word. So after a few months I left the organization where I had worked for almost 12½ years in various positions and I was a free-lancer full of plans.
How different it worked out. A year later I didn't know how to pay my mortgage next month. My body had let me down and pretty fast too. All my beautiful plans I could not realize. Although, did my body let me down or was something else going on? My head could deal with the new situation. I had to do it by myself now without the certainty that at the end of the month my salary was in my bank account. But deep down something else happened. A very old sense of uncertainty, a deep-seated fear came to the surface. Literally, because the moisture flowed from my legs, arms, chest. My entire skin lay open at one point. There was no other option but to surrender completely. I can assure you it was a hard learning experience. However, I learned two things: to trust that I am taken care of and ask for help. And help I got. Family and friends came to me from different angles, solicited and unsolicited. And that mortgage? I always was able to pay in time.
Why am I telling this story? Again I am standing for a new challenge in my life, 17 years later. And that challenge seems to be a bit like so long ago. Health and safety advisor I am actually no longer. The last part of that work I stopped last year. My passion is for years already in my work as a heart coach and consciousness worker. Part of that work is to be a consultant on a spiritual phone line. Although as a freelancer, but still it is a bit similar to a permanent job. There is absolutely no guaranteed income, but I belong to a group and there is a safe framework within which I can do my work. Meanwhile, I have learned to watch for signs, signals, and the signs for change emerged a while ago. The universe is challenging me again to let go this sense of security and to show how much confidence I have. This means that I stop to be a consultant on the spiritual phone line where I worked for a number of years with pleasure, and start my own phone line with a private direct number with the kick off on March 22nd. The phone number that I have chosen is 0909 – 0503. When I add up these figures 9 + 9 + 5 + 3 = 26. Adding up 2 + 6 the infinity number 8 appears. Also the number for a never ending abundance. It looks like I am going on repetition, but now in a different way. This time without fear, because that is what I let go. Deep down inside there is a knowing that there wil be taken care of me.
And you know what, I don’t have to do it alone. Some colleagues of mine are taking the same initiative and we join our forces. Collectively we present us on www.keyphone.nl and on www.gewoon-spiritualiteit.nl. That's where we are going to in our society, more and more cooperation. Working together in union, in freedom and with responsibility. Is not that a nice new challenge? So universe bring it on! I go for it and see a sunny future.
